Fear of failure is something we understand, because all have it to some degree.
But what about fear of success?
Is that a thing? Is it a thing for you?
Well, I would say it definitely has been for me and I know it is for A TON of my students, too.
But what is that, fear of success?
In my experience, fear of success comes largely from some kind of bad past experience or past trauma.
In my case, it was caused by being ridiculed by the people in my life that mattered most to me any time I had some kind of significant "win" in my life, like: joining the army so I could go to college debt-free, actually going to college, graduating from college, getting my first gainful sales job out of college, having some success in the music industry, starting my online business...
You see, I was trying to break out of a sort of a generational mold that had been cast for me that I desperately wanted no part of.
So, I set off into the world and became a bit of an overachiever. And for the most part it was working for me. It wasn't always the healthiest posture, but it was working...
So, when I really started to become more acutely aware of the negativity that my success was having, it actually kind of surprised me at first.
I was like, "hey, shouldn't these people be like turbo-happy for me?"
And the truth is, yes they should have been.
I was racking up accomplishments and setting a trajectory toward a having a pretty successful life.
But over the years, it became clear to me that my success threatened them in some way.
In other words, I came to understand that their response came out of their own insecurities, and really didn't have much to do with me at all...
But for a significant period of time I naturally, to minimize further rejection, I developed an innate fear of "rocking the boat" with my successes... and I know it really held me back in MANY ways.
So, I went through a period of self-sabotage that I still have to contend with even to this day.
I know, it probably sounds like a bunch of psychobabble, but I actually think it's a pretty real thing for a lot of us.
You see, what happens is that when you have some unexamined fear or trauma that affects your pursuit of being successful or accomplishing something significant, in whatever realm, your brain is automatically going to sabotage you in ways you may not even be aware of.
Your brain is wired for homeostasis or status quo or "things are good, let's not get crazy here", so any kind of change automatically becomes a threat to the comfortable, predictable status quo, ESPECIALLY when success may bring on additional layers of discomfort (like rejection from people you care about and depend on to a degree).
So, what do you do about it?
First, you have to recognize that this "fear of success" may be an issue for you.
Second, if you've identified that it is, you have to really dig into what or who may be causing it and recognize the effect it's having on you.
Third, you have to ask the question, "is it true? Is what they say about me when I become successful ACTUALLY true?"
Once you've determined that whatever it is that they're saying in negativity or ridicule is actually NOT true, you can then begin to start unpacking all the areas of your life where this fear of success might be holding you back.
If it's a big enough issue for you, here's a simple solution: get some coaching, get some wise counsel.
In the both the personal finance and entrepreneurship realms, there are TONS of great courses, communities and coaching that can help you overcome this fear of success.
A HUGE part of any accomplishments in either of these areas is mindset, so don't feel weird about addressing that. It's REALLY important that you do.
There's a link in the description to a free resource on starting and growing an online business that is full of great mindset tips to help you address this potential "fear of success" issue.
So, I'm curious, is it true for you, are you fearing success?
If so, what's causing it and how would you internally confront that person or situation (not in anger, but) in a way as to free yourself from that pain AND the missed opportunities it's costing you?
What would your life look like if you could slay your fear of success?
And when you're faced with difficult situations with people, watch this video here to help you learn how to navigate them with ease and authority. Just click over to this video here and I'm waiting for you over here in this video right here.
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